You’re More in Control Than You Think: A Gentle Invitation to Ownership

You’re More in Control Than You Think: A Gentle Invitation to Ownership

Life doesn’t always hand us perfect options. Sometimes every path feels uphill, and the choices available seem… well, less than ideal. But even in those moments, there’s a quiet truth worth remembering: you have more control than you think.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about agency—the ability to respond, adapt, and choose the next best step, even when the road is rocky.

What Is Reality Therapy?

Developed by psychiatrist William Glasser, Reality Therapy is a counseling approach rooted in the idea that our behaviors are choices—often shaped by unmet needs like love, freedom, or a sense of purpose. It’s not about digging into the past or labeling people. It’s about helping individuals recognize what they can control and guiding them toward more effective actions.

At its heart, Reality Therapy says:

• We can’t control others, but we can control ourselves.

• Our choices are often attempts to meet basic psychological needs.

• Even small shifts in behavior can lead to meaningful change.

Why This Matters in Everyday Life

When anxiety spikes or life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to feel powerless. But here’s the reframe: you’re not powerless—you’re responding to limited options. And within those limits, you still get to choose.

• You may not control your circumstances, but you can choose how you show up.

• You may not love your job, but you can choose how you care for yourself outside of it.

• You may not fix a relationship overnight, but you can choose how you communicate today.

This isn’t toxic positivity. It’s realistic empowerment.

A Few Stats to Ground Us

• A 2020 study found that clients using Reality Therapy techniques reported greater self-efficacy—the belief that they could influence their own outcomes.

• In correctional settings, Reality Therapy has helped individuals reduce impulsive behaviors and increase goal-directed decision-making.

• Research shows that when people feel in control, even in small ways, their stress levels decrease and resilience increases.

A Gentle Practice: The “Next Best Choice” Reflection

Try this when you feel stuck or overwhelmed:

1. Pause and take three slow breaths.

2. Ask yourself: What’s one thing I can control right now?

3. Then ask: What’s the next best choice I can make—even if it’s not perfect?

4. Make that choice with intention. Celebrate it, however small.

This practice isn’t about fixing everything. It’s about reclaiming your role as a participant in your own life.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not to Blame—You’re at the Helm

Responsibility doesn’t mean fault. It means possibility. It means you’re not just reacting—you’re responding. And that’s a powerful place to be.

So if life feels like a maze of hard choices, remember: you still get to choose how you move through it. And sometimes, that’s more than enough.